I remember a Bible verse from Matthew 6:25 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?"
I must admit, this verse has been a challenge for me lately. I have had so many worries, compounded by lack of sleep. We don't have a home right now, and I have been so concerned with finding the right home for the four of us (and a dog, Nigel). So far, we haven't been able to find the right place, and we are moving again for 9 weeks for Tommy's aerospace medicine training. We found a home we liked, and it rented this morning. At first, I was disappointed. But then I felt this relief wash over me. I was torn because I wanted the house, but I didn't want to pay 9 weeks of rent on a home we wouldn't even be living in. Besides, we still have a home for sale in Lexington, KY. Now that there are no available homes for rent in the area I want, I can just worry about the present moment-- like taking Teddy to the airplane park this afternoon. No rushing off to get a key to look at house we may or may not rent!
I think one of the biggest challenges of not worrying about the home situation has a lot to do with my sons! Since Teddy saw that house, he has been crying 'house, house!" Obviously he has picked up on the fact that we are living in what is basically a hotel. He misses a home as well. I worry about there being so much change in his life. He clings to me more than ever and seems scared about new situations, whereas he was more adventurous in the past. I want stability for my boys-- a sense of home. I realize that in the military, this may be seemingly impossible at times. That is why the pressure is on me to provide as much stability as I can for them. So I am trying not to worry... and this has always been difficult for me because I am a type "A" personality by nature. I worry about everything... what people think of me, finances, my boys, the future. This has always been my "Achilles heel". I want to be spontaneous, worry free, laid back! I want to trust God more and my ability to have everything be perfect less! It seems there is always a new situation for me to grow in this lifelong pursuit. But I am still learning, still trying. I am still a work in progress.
My heart feels for you! I feel I can relate. I too am a type A and worry about so many things yet desire to be laid back, enjoy where I am and soak in the blessings the Lord has given us. Yet I plan and worry and stress about what may or may not happen and what we will do then! This year while Chris has been unemployed has been a tumultuous time for us,God has been faithfully teaching me the same lessons you are learning. It is hard to grow even when you know you are growing towards God. I am glad you are blogging! As I follow you here I will be praying for you and Tommy and your wonder little men.
ReplyDeleteMelissa Tyler
Sheryl,
ReplyDeleteI read your blog, and it took me back 19 years. As you know, I was once an Air Force wife with young babies. As challenging as these times are for you, with all of the changes, I am sure 19 years from now, when you look back, as I do, they are going to be your best memories! Be sure to print off your blog, if possible, because it will be a story for your kids when they are grown! God be with you!