Autumn Sunday


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Officer Training

This is not the world's most creative title for a blog, nor is this the world's most creative title for a post. But can I be honest with you? My creative juices have really waned as of late. Perhaps the reason for this is the fact that I have a 9 lb bundle keeping me up at night and a toddler draining me of all of my creative energy during the day.
"Excuses are like noses, everyone has one" my dad would say. But here I am, writing this blog even though I would like to be sleeping right now. But what's another hour of sleep deprivation when I have so many hours that to sleep would only be like taking one small step out of a very large hole. Why am I so tired, you ask? Well, my husband is gone at OTS. I can't believe how lonely I am without him around. You know, he was gone often in residency, but I could still call him and talk to him almost daily. OTS is a different experience. It is like he is in another world that I cannot visit. When he calls, which isn't often, he is so tired and his experience is so far removed from mine. He is busy from dawn till dusk with so many task, too numerous too count. I am busy from dawn to dusk with the same repetitive tasks that new moms do constantly when their children are young (wiping noses, wiping rear ends, wiping goobie eyes... feeding toddlers, feeding babies, picking up food that toddlers throw, wiping up food that babies spit up). Yes, our jobs are both exhausting, but they are worlds apart. And that is how I feel right now-- worlds apart from my husband. Embarking on a journey with him that has him doing most of the "journeying" and me doing the same old tasks but without him around.

Of course, that brings me to my other point. We don't have a home yet. I am living at my mother's house. I moved there after he left to get help with the kids. Funny how much I appreciate my mother and how her home still feels restful to me and always will, but it isn't my home. My husband is my home, and he is miles away.

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